Emotional Support Opossum

Mascot. Overthinker. Vibe curator.

Beans is the official emotional support opossum of this soft chaos empire. He’s not a licensed therapist (or even emotionally available), but he will stand beside you in a wrinkled T-shirt and remind you that survival is enough.

Born in a dumpster behind a Waffle House and raised by anxiety, Beans copes through graphic tees, nervous energy, and deep sighs at inappropriate times. He’s been through it. And now he’s here — to spiral with you, not at you.

Beans Says:

“I’m not okay, but at least I’m comfy.”

 Fun Facts:

• Sleeps 14 hours a day, still tired
• Favorite food group: emotional snacks
• Once screamed at his own reflection (and apologized)
• Thinks crying is cardio
• Has exactly one friend and it’s you now

Beans doesn’t have it together. But neither do you. And that’s why this works.